With our current Wise Guys Programme coming to an end in July, we wanted to hear from one of the participants on the programme about his experience and how he feels Wise Guys has helped him. Across the UK 712,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year (ONS 2024) This alarming statistic demonstrates the need for support and education for men,who can find it much more difficult to get help. At Future Living, we want to encourage more men to come forward and speak about their experiences to help others realise that they are not alone. Rob, has agreed to share his journey through the Wise Guys Programme, which he credits for improving his mental health and gaining a better understanding of himself. 

1. How have you found the Wise Guys Programme so far?

It’s been good.  To be brutally honest, I’ve found it a safe, supportive, space on both group and individual levels. The support is readily available as is counselling (used both) making my group and me individually less isolated (possibly without realising I was) and more empowered with knowledge. 

2. What are the 3 main things you will take away from the programme?

Shared experiences with my co-attendees. The realisation I’m not on my own. 

Having healthy relationships with people on all walks of life going forward. If personal or work etc. 

Personal confidence as well.  I’m beginning to realise who I am. Rather than just a man, father or breadwinner. There is definitely something about life I was missing.

3. Have you found the group environment helpful?

Definitely, this space is non-judgmental, that’s a massive plus. You learn from each other, shared experiences are key, it reduces the “I’m on my own” negativity in life. Because you’re not on your own. 

4. What are the main positive changes you have noticed within yourself since starting the programme?

Being totally honest, I’ve learned to be aware of boundaries, something  I was sceptical about.  But now I know how to build them, and why I  need to. Yes, I like everyone and I want to be liked, but realising that’s not ok when I’m being abused. Amongst others is understanding my self-worth, so not relying just on having a life purpose, and being a man, but acknowledging emotional wellbeing, giving me improvements in my mental health. 

5. What would you say to anyone who is thinking of joining Wise Guys?

It’s about making yourself stronger, mentally and emotionally. You feel listened to and heard. When you feel  listened to, you feel you understand yourself. 

It’s about wellbeing and strength, for you. 

How do I join Wise Guys?

Our next programme is due to start in September. The programme runs for 12 weeks and is free to access for residents of Hertfordshire. Attendees are entitled to free counselling alongside the programme to further support them. 

For more information, visit our website: futurelivinghertford.co.uk 

To submit a self referral visit the following link: https://www.futurelivinghertford.co.uk/adult-referral-form/

If you are a professional and would like to submit a referral on behalf of a client, email: [email protected] to request a referral form.