10th September marks World Suicide Prevention Day, a day aimed at raising awareness about suicide and how it can be prevented. 

 

Suicide is often caused when someone feels there is no way out, their life may feel all too consuming or they may be struggling to cope in general. For a victim of domestic abuse, the feeling of being trapped with no where to turn can greatly impact their mental health, which can lead to thoughts of suicide. 

 

It is common for the perpetrator to socially isolate the victim, leaving them feeling alone, this increased sense of isolation coupled other factors of abuse such as coercive control, emotional abuse and physical abuse can leave the victim feeling at an all time low and with no support network in place and no one to turn too, suicide can seem like the only option to ‘escape’ a life of fear, dread and intimidation. 

 

According to Refuge, around 3 women a week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse. In March, the BBC reported how suicides had surpassed homicides in both male and female victims for s second year in a row. It is clear that more need to be done to prevent victims of domstic abuse feeling like suicide is their only way out. 

 

With the right support, there is a way out. A way which involves careful planning and a  collaboration of different services and organisations, supporting the victim when they feel ready to leave the relationship. Each service plays a key role, but the timing and order in which they are utilised is key. 

 

At Future Living Hertford, we support survivors who are no longer in the relationship through our empowerment programmes. It is important to retain safety for someone who is still in the relationship once they choose to leave, which is why there is a process of steps which must be taken before the victim can reach this stage. 

 

We also run a drop-in service, which is free to anyone (in the relationship or not) to come and get some advice and support about domestic abuse. Support and understanding is what is often lacking. As a charity, we often find that when a client attends our drop-in, particularly if they are still in the relationship, they feel a sense of relief to have taken the initial step. They see how many services and organisations are waiting to help and begin to realise that they are not alone. 

 

Recognising the signs

But sadly, some victims do not reach this realisation and take their own lives. It is a fact that suicide can be prevented. It is about being alert and aware to potential signs, which may, but do not always include:

• Talking about death
• Giving away possessions
• Low mood
• Withdrawing from social interactions (this is particularly common in victims of domestic abuse)
• Using phrases like, ‘The world would be a better place without me’ 
• Sleeping more or less than usual
• Loss or increased appetite 

 

You can find out more about what to do if you think someone may be thinking about suicide on the Samaritans website: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/

 

Or if you, yourself are thinking about suicide:

• • Dial 999 if you are in danger or feel you may harm yourself

• Contact a suicide support service such as Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

• Speak to your GP
• Speak to family or a trusted friend

 

Preventative work at Future Living Hertford

By openly speaking about suicide and being alert to potential signs, we can all play our part in prevention. But it is evident that more needs to be done to support victims of domestic abuse in preventing them from feeling that suicide is their only option. 

 

We are working with Hertfordshire Police, delivering lived experience training to educate officers and police staff about how it feels for the victim and what they can do to further support them.

 

At our main hub in Hertford, we have a dedicated team and two safeguarding leads, who offer intervention and signposting to our clients if needed. 

 

We listen to our clients’ needs and allow them to be heard, often for the first time. Our clients’ wellbeing is important to us, which is why we offer counselling alongside our programmes, as well as a low cost counselling service for the wider community. 

 

Help and support

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or risk of harming themselves, dial 999

Samaritans 116 123 

Nightlight (out of hours crisis line in Hertfordshire) 01923 256391

SHOUT (Text service) 85258

NHS Single Point of Access (SPA) 0800 6444 101 

NHS 111 Service: Call 111, and select the mental health option

Herts Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 808 8088

Our Domestic Abuse Support Drop-in is available every Monday 10:00 – 12:00 at Vale House, 43 Cowbridge, Hertford.